Things You Should NEVER Say to Someone Suffering from a Chronic Illness

If you’re extremely sick, kind words from friends and family may not miraculously heal you but somehow, what they say can make you feel better. Meanwhile, if you hear harsh comments from others, it automatically starts to make you feel worse.

While words certainly do not have bearing on the diseases you are suffering from, it could greatly affect your emotions or the way you look at yourself, and then you start questioning if you really deserve getting sick. Patients dealing with a chronic illness aren’t exempted from the critics despite the extreme pain they are feeling.

Karen Duffy suffers from sarcoidosis

It is never right to blame the victim, all the more people who are fighting hard against their diseases because if they had a choice, then they would get out of their situations. If you know someone who is dealing with a chronic illness, watch your words and avoid the following:

About Their Appearance

Karen Duffy, the famous MTV VJ, has been struggling with an inflammatory disease called sarcoidosis, which causes extreme pain, and has experienced insensitive and nasty comments from others. One of the things she gets irked about is when someone asks about her appearance.

She explained that chemotherapy has been such a pain and that she doesn’t care about anyone’s beauty standards. Indeed, you have no idea about the hardships ill people have to go through so the least of your concern should be their appearance.

Everyone’s Experience

Then, there would be other people claiming you are a wuss just because you are sick, explaining that everyone falls ill so you’re not special at all. Questioning and downgrading others’ pain is downright wrong on so many levels — just because you are not going through the same circumstance doesn’t mean others don’t suffer.

The truth is, as a healthy person, you have no idea about what another person is experiencing, which means you don’t have the right to underestimate their situation. Being always tired is not their choice.

Declining to Offer Support

When you’re sick, you just want a person to vent out on even though they have no clue how hard it is to be in your shoe. You don’t exactly expect them to fully understand but the thought that someone is there to listen and support you is already calming.

Instead of focusing on your feelings, assure your friend that you are always there no matter what

This means that people who you confide in and would back out just because it makes them upset are only making the situation about themselves when in fact, it’s not. Plus, they should always remember that it is you who is sick.

On What They Need

A lot of times, patients tend to stay quiet even if they need something just because they are embarrassed to ask from their family and friends. That also means masking their requests and instead, trying their hardest to get what they require themselves.

Sometimes, what patients need is a shoulder to cry on

This is why it isn’t really helpful to ask them what they need. They may not fully disclose what they want or require – instead, have the initiative to visit, talk, or just anything you think they may need.